Sometimes I Wonder…And Even Question…

Have you ever found yourself in one of those tin life where EVERYTHING just seems so hard?  I’m in one of those times right now.  For almost all of my life, I have been too busy; then my daughter was born and that changed everything.  She slowed me down, made me value family, and helped me straighten out my priorities.  I knew the word”no” before her, but never had a reason to say it.  Now I use it with reckless abandon.  In just the past few weeks life has turned from smooth sailing on the interstate to the roughest off-road adventure you can think of…

I consider myself a hard worker…but lately I feel like I do three ti the work to get a third of the results.  In addition to the challenges of a young family, there are looming layoffs at work, the struggles of gaining momentum for my side business, and economic struggles all around. The hardest “pill” sallow so far came at 7am this morning when I received phone call that my grandmother, the glue of our family, is fading after having open heart surgery just over a week ago.  I know she is still with us, but when I hear news like this for the first time about someone I cherish & have been so close to…my mind starts racing with so many questions.  The thought of life without her is a strange, whether it’s now or later.

I know God cares for us all. I know He is sovereign & just.  I know, without a doubt, everything He does is for the good of those that serve him.  So…is it wrong to question when one close to me or you suffers?  Is it wrong to wonder how things will be when we lose someone we love so much?

I’m not used to the power of these emotions.  This is a new one for me….and for the first time in a long time….I am not sure how to feel.

I would love to know your thoughts, hear your encouragement, and receive your prayers.  Thank you in advance for your love & support.

About John Bendever, Jr.

I'm madly in love with one woman, father of two world changers, entrepreneur, internet marketing nerd, and most importantly...I am a son of the Most High God.

Thank you for taking time to read my blog, and I truly hope it inspires you to grow outside your fears to become who you are meant to live how you are meant to live.


  1. To question God isn’t wrong… it’s how we question Him and why. He knows the heart behind the question. When it’s for true understanding, He will patiently answer if our ear is truly listening for an answer that we are willing to accept with a humble heart.

    The book of Psalms is full of questions from those being persecuted who desire God’s help and understanding. Now, we don’t always get the answers we expect, or even the answers we want, but that’s why there has to be a humble and sincere heart asking and listening. Then there are the questions that are our of spite, or come from an insincere heart asking questions in vain or hypocritical ways. Saul was on a path of disobedience when he questioned God, and in 1 Samuel 28:6 we’re told that those questions went unanswered.

    Having doubts or wondering why different things happen the way they do is different than trying to tell God how to do His job. God wants us to have a close relationship with Him, so obviously communication, even if through questions, is surely welcomed.

    Being a follower of the Lord doesn’t keep us from going through hardships. Romans 8:28 teaches us that the things we go through in life have an ultimate purpose, a divine purpose. Trials and hardships help us grow closer to Him, if we seek him constantly through them.

    “And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” (Romans 5:3-5)

    Hang in the Johnny… you and your family will be in our prayers!

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