Before I start on the actual skunk story, let me give you some circumstances that lead up to the skunking. My wife, Candace, is currently pregnant; and she has a cast on the lower half of her right leg from an ankle injury. She has been very graceful in enduring the cast for the last 3 weeks and has just 3 more weeks to go. Considering her impeded mobility, I have had to pick up a lot of the household duties as well as errands we normally share.

So….I will give you a list of those involved, then I will proceed into last Tuesday night’s events….

The People/Victims
Me – aka “Favorite Son-In Law”
Tom Sterbens – Pastor, Future Grandparent, & Antogonist of his “Favorite Son-in-Law”

The Dogs/Victims (Dogs are listed by Seniority)
Dog #1 – Shorty (Male) – Owned by the In-Laws and resident grumpy dog
Dog #2 – Waddle (Male) – Owned by Candace & Me – aka “The Ring Leader”
Dog #3 – Bubbles (Female) – Owned by Candace & Me – aka “Ring Leader’s Sidekick”
Dog #4 – Sugar (Female) – Owned by Aunt Beth – aka “The Rotten One”

I got off work at 4 as usual, then ran an errand on the way home. I got back into Sevierville about 6:30, and I decided to drop by the grocery store to get some of the things Candace was getting low on or was completely out of….she is not able to drive right now, so she can’t get them herself. While I was there, I picked up something to make dinner for myself since she currently has dance practices until about 9pm every night until after the concert.

Now…I was leaving Food City VERY excited about my dinner, and I have my whole night planned to get a good bit of side work done. I purchased a frozen “dinner in a bag” Chicken Florentine & Farfalle dinner made by Bertolli to make when I got home, and if you have not had one….you should try it!

Anyway…back to the story…I pulled up to my in-laws (we are staying there so Candace has help in the morning and isn’t at our house going up and down stairs alone) at about 7:30 ready to unload the groceries, make dinner, and get a little work done before I went to pick Candace up from dance practice at the church. When I pulled up to the house, my favorite father-in-law (most who read this will know him as Pastor Tom Sterbens) was outside. He greeted me and asked what I was doing, so I quickly sputed off my plans….he laughed (as usual) at my detailed planning and said, “That’s great, son.”

I asked him how his day was, and he started to share how he had some work done on the other part of his property. He asked if I wanted to see it, and I agreed. He decided we should take the dogs with us….and I agreed. so he let Shorty and Sugar out of the house (my dogs were already outside “doing their business”). We started up the small hill and onto the road he was having cut into the hill on the other part of the property. The sun was falling fast and it was getting almost too dark to see by the time we got to the end of the new road. He pointed out a few places a new home could be built, and it was GORGEOUS. The road was cut into a rather steep hill, but it was done so well my little Scion could navigate it with no promblem.

So, it was time to head back to the house. By this time, it was getting dark enough we were not able to see very deep into the surrounding trees. We were walking down the new road and decided we would go to the end of the road and walk through the field near the river instead of climbing back down the rather steep hillside again.

Here is where the fun starts….as we get near the end of the road and into the clearing, Waddle (The Ring Leader) lets out a small growl and takes off like a lightning bolt through the small patch of woods to our right. Dad and I looked at each other trying to figure out what was happening, and as I looked back I spotted a dark little ball of fur with a fluffy tale sticking up in the air running for its life (with Waddle not far behind) toward the treeline to our left. As Waddle is closing in on the URF (Unidentified Running Furball), the rest of the dogs are catching up and falling into formation. Dad and I realize what we just saw, IT’S A SKUNK!!! At approximately the same time the other dogs catch Waddle and the skunk, the skunk makes it into the treeline, and I am now screaming as forcefully as I can to get Waddle (because the rest will follow him) away from the skunk….

It’s too late….we can already smell the infamous odor….Waddle ends his pursuit and trots toward us with his careless pride. He trots between us and starts to follow behind (like he did on the way up the road). After he did this the odor became overwhelming….we could hardly breathe. Apprently Waddle got close enough in his pursuit to actualy receive the Skunk’s venom directly in his face!

Now, everyone I know has smelled skunk before, and everyone knows the odor carries for miles. So imagine the smell the last time you passed one that was laying directly on the side of the road….and multiply it by a hundred! It was an overpowering cloud of nasty odor that blanketed every dog, our clothes, our hair, and our skin!

Dad made his way inside to investigate how to get the dogs cleaned and de-skunked while I was charged with corralling the pooches and preparing them for the cleansing. Shorty, Bubbles, and Sugar smelled; but it was tolerable. They were just victims of the residue (like Dad & me). Waddle, however, was repulsive! Dad returned with a magic formula to bathe the dogs in….we were working with a sense of urgency since the smell was only intensifying as time passed. He said that Mom (Brenda) could smell him as soon as he walked in their bedroom and promptly asked, “What is that smell?!”

The found the de-skunking potion of baking soda, hydrogen peroxide, and dish soap through Google; then quickly mixed up a batch. We started the bathing cycle with Waddle. Believe it or not, it worked! Waddle & Bubble each required a second bathing….but all dogs were de-skunked.

In hindsight, I feel rather foolish. The night before I noticed a rather strong skunk odor, so I knew we had one on the property. I was extremely cautious letting the dogs out to do their business that night and before I left for work in the morning to the extent of scouting the whole area with a flashlight before letting them loose. I knew if Waddle saw it, he would chase it….and it would be bad…

I guess God had other plans….yet another lesson….no matter how hard I try be, I am not in charge! Hope you enjoyed, because it is definitely funnier to you than me!

About John Bendever, Jr.

I'm madly in love with one woman, father of two world changers, entrepreneur, internet marketing nerd, and most importantly...I am a son of the Most High God.

Thank you for taking time to read my blog, and I truly hope it inspires you to grow outside your fears to become who you are meant to live how you are meant to live.

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